Cold War Nostalgia at SUNY Cortland

Once again, I can’t help but shake my head in disgust.  I read recently how during the Cold War, SUNY Oswego (formerly Oswego State) in upstate NY was targeted by the Soviets with nuclear warheads.  Their traditional rival, SUNY Cortland, our local bastion of high education, wasn’t even on their damn list.  Now what does that say to you?

Well, I can think of several things, none of which reflect well on our local campus and its management.  First off, the Soviets had probably never heard of the place.  Makes you wonder who was in charge of publicity back then and whether things have changed for the better.  SUNY Cortland President Bitterbaum’s frequent trips abroad should help, but...

Second, despite a tradition of conservative politics on our local campus, Soviet spies and their fellow travelers evidently did not consider the political debate here sufficiently evolved to constitute a threat to Soviet hegemony.  They harbored few fears that Cortland State would nurture a future leader like Ronald Reagan (Eureka College) or Dick Nixon (Whittier College).  You can bet those hallowed halls of advanced learning were targeted with a megaton apiece.

Third, and most sinister possibility, perhaps our Cortland campus was itself a hotbed of communist subversion.  Among faculty, administration, and students there might have existed an insidious network of seditious subversives, saboteurs, and apparatchiks, just waiting for bombs to fall before pouring from their nests in Old Main Building and taking over the entire county!

And given the nature of tenure systems, it’s likely those cells are still imbedded on campus.  Red Dragons indeed!  Sounds Maoist to me.  Those jackets and sweatshirts boosters wear allow these evil commie sleepers to recognize one another.  Citizens and patriots!  If you ever see two red-clad Cortland boosters talking together, get pictures; expose them!  C-Club, we’ve got your number…comrades.

Newspapers say the Cold War and communism went the way of the dodo.  Well, maybe that specific threat faded away, but everyone must agree the leadership at SUNY Cortland still has a responsibility to keep our campus and city well-promoted internationally so never again, in that great unknowable future, will we be so ignored.

If the Russians, Chinese, or North Koreans ever revisit that target list, pride alone demands we be included.  Go Red!

                                                                       XXX