Evolution vs Intelligent Design

This debate is absurd.

Number One:  evolution implies progress through stepwise change.  But I’ll make the argument how there’s no sign of progress in humans or their collective humanity over the past fifty-thousand years.  Our brains are the same size.  Changes in stature can all be related to improved diet…sorry, that’s misleading…let’s just say more food.  Humans are no more disease-resistance, no less violence-prone, or obviously, no smarter than our ancestors.  Read Marcus Aurelius sometime.

Do we learn from the past, supposedly imprinted in our DNA?  Fat chance.  Can you spell ‘quagmire’ or ‘gas-guzzler?’

‘Intelligent Design’ backers insist there’s no ‘missing link’ in the fossil record?  Well, I’d be embarrassed, too.  Given the obnoxious behavior of homo sapiens, Mr. and Mrs. Link probably changed their names and moved to another cave.

Proponents of Intelligent Design would have us believe the world is a miraculous undertaking by some super-smart being, someone who actually understands how things work and how they mesh together.  Not only does He/She understand quantum physics, thermodynamics, and the machinations of the Electoral College, He/She actually invented them!

But if the Theory of Intelligent Design is correct, we should have purchased that Extended Service Agreement.  It costs a bit more, I know, but a thirty-day standard warranty wasn’t going to hack it. Would you let the architect who designed your house or the plumber who installed the pipes just cash your checks and walk.  Heck no!  The least you’d do is file suit when an unreinforced floor under your bath tub collapses and drowns the new flat panel TV downstairs.

Ooo, my palms are itchy: We should think ‘class action’ here.  It’s like lawsuits against gun manufacturers and chemical companies:  we should hold the Intelligent Designer responsible for every bad thing that’s ever happened, even if He/She isn’t directly involved.  Think ‘product liability’ and ‘deep pockets?’  And I, for one, certainly didn’t sign any waiver.

And talk about deep pockets.  The universe is your oyster!  You product liability lawyers out there:  contingency fees!

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