Pear-Shaped People Rock

It’s in the news.  People’s bodies are changing, inverted triangles replaced by pears.  Nutritionists, preppie doctors, and other health Nazis bemoan the change, predicting dire consequences for our lifestyles, health and mortality. The fate of society sags in the balance.  “Eat right and exercise.”  Their mantra is drilled into our collective psyche, to little apparent effect.

Meanwhile designers offer sleek fashions none of us can wear anymore.  Manufacturers play games with patterns to convince pear-shaped men their waists are still 34” and women that their dress size is still ‘8 Petite.’  Airline seats are no longer suitable for average American rumps.

While change doesn’t always mean progress; it sometimes means evolution.  And whether by natural selection or intelligent design, evolution is a response to changes in environment, usually contributing to mankind’s long term hardiness.

Experts claim we eat too much of the wrong things and don’t run enough marathons.  But consider an alternative explanation:  the world changed in ways that provide advantages to pear-shaped people.

One thing upon which everyone agrees, our world’s moving faster and faster.  Pear-shaped people have low centers of gravity and are inherently more stable during high speed turns.  Consider news reports about SUV roll-overs.  The auto industry’s answer:  lower the center of gravity!

When the world was slow paced, ambling and strolling were operative terms.  Now we power-walk and dash around all day, trying our best to maintain a faster pace.  No one ambles any more.  Even geriatric mall walkers are as likely to run you down as to say “good morning!”

Forget the risk of heart attack or apoplexy, pear-shaped people have evolved to reduce risks of spin-outs and roll-overs harmful to themselves and to innocent by-standers including skinny people and those anachronistic top-heavy triangles.

So bless and embrace them.  And bless evolution and its wondrous subtlety.

XXX